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2004-08-02 - 11:46 a.m.
I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death
I can't help but regard sleep as the enemy. Maybe it should be time itself that I see that way, but to me, time is the currency, and sleep is the thief that's constantly stealing so much of it away from me. And it's been harder to manage than ever lately. I want to be awake, I want to get things done, but my body wants to rest and inevitably my mind gives in and I'm gone. In the beginning of the summer when I started this schedule, I dealt with it alright. I got up and got to my morning job relatively on time, and then I was done at noon, went home and chilled or got things done, and then at night went to work at my other job, or went to band practice, or had something else to do. And sometimes, if I needed it, I'd take a nap in the afternoon to refresh myself. That system hasn't been working too smoothly lately, though. Because I'm an insomniac, and all it takes is a mid-day nap to throw off my sleep rhythm and make it so I can't get to sleep at night, so that I end up finally getting to bed around 4 or 5 a.m., when I have to be at work at 8. Not good. And if I actually manage to get to work relatively on time, I'm so sleep deprived that I promptly go back to bed when I get home in the afternoon. It's quite a vicious cycle. Usually if I'm less than 20 minutes late for work, my boss, Batty, makes nothing of it, because a lot of days there's not that much to do right away anyway. But lately I've been pushing it, 30, 40 minutes. And I feel bad when he gives me shit about it, but the other student worker, Jarod, is routinely even more late than that, and I think because they know I'm more responsible than him, I'm held to a higher standard. It was brought into stark relief one morning a couple weeks ago when I got a raft of shit for being a half hour late, and as far as I know Jarod didn't get nearly the same talking-to for being 2 whole hours late. I didn't say anything, but it really pissed me off, and I've been tempted to use it as ammunition next time things come to a head, because that's some bullshit right there. Of course, I have no room to talk because this morning I was 2 hours late. Mondays are the worst, it's just so hard to get back in the groove after a weekend. Especially this past weekend, last night I went to a show, and on Saturday J.G. and I went out to the movies at midnight. We saw The Village, which I really liked. I think it's kind of a love it or hate it movie, but I enjoyed it in spite of its flaws and plot contrivances. I might have to see it again. Now that it's August, I'm less than a month away from the roommate change. Landon's coming up to take care of the paperwork next week. And I'm kind of looking forward to being ridden of Jace. I'm sure he's an ok guy and it's kind of my fault for never getting to know him, but I've gotten to the point where I just plain don't like him being here. We kind of have an unspoken system that I clean the kitchen and he cleans the bathroom, at least that's always how it seems to go. But he shaves with an electric razor and leaves tons of stubble all over the sink for days at a time. And I'll let the dishes pile up too, but more of them are his than mind, and what really pisses me off is that he'll leave food in there and start to smell. Of course, I don't tell him any of this, because we just don't have any rapport. I only talk to the dude when I have to, to get a rent check or something. And this week is the last time I'll have to get a rent check from him, which is something I'm glad I'll never have to do again. Dude always drags his feet getting it to me, which is really annoying. He told me a last week that he'd be out of town for a few days starting this Monday, so last night I told him to get me the rent check before he left. I don't know if he's left for his trip yet, but I still don't see any check anywhere. This puts me in a shitty position, because it means I have to cover his share of the rent until he can get the check to me, after I've already paid it. So not only do I have to pay my $340, but I have to make sure I have an extra $340 to cover him. If I hadn't taken out some extra savings to pay tuition this week, I'd be pretty screwed. And even so, it's a big inconvenience. I'm tempted to give him a hard time about it, even though it's not going to be an issue in the future, so there's no real point in saying anything, but he should know what a shitty thing it is to do. But as long as he promptly gets out of my apartment by the end of the month, I'm probably just going to let it all slide and say goodbye and good riddance with a smile. And anyway, I'm going to enjoy having the apartment to myself for a few days this week. -al
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