|
2004-06-27 - 9:27 p.m.
in my pocket
When I saw my brother in Chicago a couple weeks ago, he expressed disbelief at the thickness of my wallet; I hadn’t really thought about it, but my packrat tendencies really have ballooned my wallet to George Constanza quantities over the years. I’ve been meaning to clearn it out forever, but I just never get around to it. So I decided to take stock of everything therein, and here’s the complete inventory of my wallet: * debit card for my checking account * Maryland driver’s license * new address correction sticker for driver’s license * CTA transit card from Chicago subway * ticket stub for 6/13/04 showing of Troy * business card for auto insurance provider * Maxell cassette label stickers with phone numbers of bandmates written on them * account number card for checking account * Gap gift card that I got this past Christmas and haven’t used yet * Towson University student ID * ticket stub for 4/22/04 Kanye West concert * receipt from my flight back from Oakland last August with phone number of my workplace written on it * business card for Central Service & Repair * scrap of paper with the phone number of someone named Joe that I don’t recall in the slightest * post-it note with information about payroll office that I needed when I thought a paycheck had been lost in the mail last December * ticket stub for 1/03/04 showing of Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King * A&W/KFC coupon that expired 1/24/04 * parking check for the lot across the street from the Black Cat, which I haven’t been to for a show in at least a few months * scrap of paper with Patrice’s phone number from the house she hasn’t lived in since last summer * Copico card for TU library * scrap of paper with J.G. and Zac’s cell phone numbers * ticket stub for 8/13/03 Superchunk show * Social Security card * photo ID for Point Breeze credit union account, which I closed a year or two ago * ticket stub for 6/11/03 showing of Finding Nemo * scrap of paper with information about a country club I applied to for a job last summer * ticket stub for 5/28/03 Dismemberment Plan show * another parking check from the Black Cat lot, probably from that Plan show * ticket stub for 4/15/03 Postal Service/Cex show * unfamliar looking parking check with a note written on the back to remind myself to look up the song “Stepdaddy” by Hitman Sammy Sam, which I’d just heard on the radio * a receipt from the MVA with a vaguely familiar phone number written on it * ticket stub from Dismemberment Plan show at Johns Hopkins * ticket stub from 2/9/03 Henry Rollins spoken word show at Johns Hopkins * Super Fresh bonus savings card, which I was told had been discontinued last time I tried to use it, nearly a year ago * ticket stub from 12/28 Dismemberment Plan show * another Black Cat parking check * ticket stub from 12/7/02 showing of They * torn corner of a newspaper page with 2 unfamiliar phone numbers * ticket stub from 11/24/02 Sonic Youth show * scrap of yellow notebook paper with Janet’s phone number on it * another business card for Central Service & Repair * a nametag sticker with the name ABDUL written in sharpie on it, which I vaguely recall finding somewhere on campus and being amused by * ticket stub from the 2002 High Zero Festival of Experimental Improvised Music * ticket stub from 9/6/02 showing of My Big Fat Greek Wedding * DC metro card * photo ID for YMCA Of Delaware from when I took a Tai Chi class, roughly 8 years ago * business card for Pop-A-Lock locksmith company * business card for J.G.’s mom, who is a lawyer * business card for Katzen Eye Group, who I used to get my glasses and contacts from, but stopped going to a year or two ago * health care card * business card for my bank * my brother’s business card for a Transformers fan site he used to work with * 2 differently colored business cards for the restaurant in Delaware that I worked for my last 2 summers of high school, 4 years ago * a post-it note with the phone number of my boss at said restaurant * a Delaware polling place card from when I voted in the 2000 presidental election * business card for the bank where my savings account is * ticket stub for 12/31/01 Lake Trout show * another parking check from the Black Cat * post-it note with the code to make long distance calls from my dorm room sophomore year * a note card torn in half with about a dozen phone numbers, mostly high school friends, about half of whom I’ve barely spoken to since graduation * the tongue stud that was inside my mouth for about a year of my life * a coupon from the pizza place I now work for, which expired 4/1/04 * a 2”x3” laminated copy of my diploma from Cape Henlopen High School * an uncashed check from my aunt and uncle from Christmas 2002 * twenty-six (26) ATM statements and deposit slips from Chevy Chase Bank * oh yeah, and $12 in cash So that’s it. Wow, looking at that list, I think I really do have a problem. Now that I’ve stripped the wallet of everything but the daily essentials, it’s so much thinner, and actually kind of has stretch marks, so that the little sleeves for cards is all loose and slack and doesn’t hold them as securely. Maybe it’s time for a new wallet. -al
previous - next
| 
