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2004-03-08 - 11:36 p.m.
I used to live at home, now I stay at the house
A Brief History of My Adult Life, As Viewed Through the Lens of My Cohabitational Relationships, Roommate by Roommate Kenny, August 2000 - May 2001 on-campus dorm room in Scarborough Hall Until my freshman year of college, I’d never spent any significant amount of time living anywhere but with my mother and/or father. Since I didn’t know anyone else at Towson before starting school, I went ahead and took my chances getting paired up in a dorm room with another freshman. Nkangu, who went by Kenny, was a pretty laid back guy, and I can’t recall us ever having any real beef or even space issues for the whole 2 semesters we lived together, which is pretty impressive considering that our room was pretty tiny and there was no wall between our respective living spaces. And I was in the room a lot, since I wasn’t working at the time, and didn’t have a car or much of a social life. I made a few friends freshman year, but most of them I didn’t really get to know or hang out much with until sophomore year. So that year I was pretty much in the room whenever I wasn’t in class. But Kenny and I never really got on each other’s nerves. We got along pretty well, and respected each other’s taste. He was from D.C. and had a lot of Go-Go tapes, and he liked a lot of the rap and some of the other weird music that I listened to. We got along, but we never got really tight. I still see him around campus now and then. Back in sophomore, maybe junior year, we’d say hi, maybe stop for small talk. Now we maybe nod in each other’s general direction, if we acknowledge each other at all. Scott, May 2001 - August 2001 3rd floor apartment in Newark, Delaware Over winter break freshman year, I mostly stayed home at Mom’s in Rehoboth, and was so bored that month that I pretty much made up my mind that I wasn’t going to spend the summer there. And as luck would have it, an opportunity came along in the from of Scott, an old friend from high school, having a spare room in his apartment for the summer. I’d never spent much time in Newark before that, and I got to really like the place. It’s basically a little college town, except I was there in the summer when school was out, so it was especially quiet. Living with Scott was pretty great, since we’d already been tight for years, and it was the first time I really got to live with a friend, and pretty much out on my own, away from family and school and everything. It was just a really fun, unique period in my life. By the end of the summer, I think we’d worn on each other a little; I mean, we spent more time together in those 3 months than we probably had all through high school. But by the end of it we were tighter and we still keep in touch as much as we can. I still keep the idea in the back of my head of wanting him to move out to Maryland and be my roommate again, although I dunno when that opportunity will come up. Randall, August 2001 - May 2002 dorm room in Tower C I met Randall freshman year, and right off the bat we had a weird sort of chemistry; he was amused by my sense of humor, and I was amused by the aura of absurdity and chaos that revolves around his life. At the end of the year, just as I was ready to go ahead and be paired up with another random roommate for sophomore year, Randall called me up and asked me if I’d be his roommate. And I figured, sure, why not, I’d be better off rooming with someone I know than taking my chances with a stranger. And so began a year in which I was slowly but surely drawn into that absurdity and chaos that I’d found so charming from a safe distance. Granted, that first semester went pretty well. We got to be pretty tight, and I have to say my social life really benefitted from having him as a friend. But somewhere around late fall semester, early spring, I think a lot of factors contributed to our friendship gradually going sour. And while I admit my part in letting things get a little nasty, I’d mostly attribute it to the fact that Randall is a bit nuts, and there’s a level of nuttiness that’s a lot more tolerable in a friend you hang out with occasionally than someone that you live in a live in a little dorm room with, with no wall between us. Speaking of which, by the end of the year, Randall’s girlfriend pretty much became the unofficial third roommate, which was a bit awkward at times. By the end of the year, there was a pretty palpable sense of relief at not having to live with each other anymore, and any hope of our friendship healing up and rebuilding itself was dashed over the course of the following summer. Randall and I still keep a lot of mutual friends, and inevitably see each other at social functions now and then. For a while I was very bitter and stubborn, and did what I could to avoid him or at least make things awkward. It’s been a good year since there’s been any real communication, now, and things have just kind of cooled off into slightly hostile indifference. We can be in the same room, and maybe exchange a few words but basically avoid eye contact. Sean and Mike, June 2002 - June 2003 Loch Raven Village Apartments By the end of sophomore year, I was pretty convinced that 2 years living on-campus was enough, and I was ready to move off-campus and try something new, but I wasn’t sure what that next living situation was going to be. But an opportunity dropped into my lap to move into an apartment with 2 guys I didn’t really know, one of whom, Mike, was a friend of a friend I’d met once or twice, and the other, Sean, happened to work at the post office where I’d just started working. Mike and Sean were both essentially dorky college guys like me, and all our living habits ended up being pretty compatible. But mainly I was just happy to have my own bedroom all to myself, with walls between each of us. Over the course of the year, Mike and I started hanging out more and more, and kind of became a clique with Sean as the odd man out. Sean kind of just kept to himself, though. And a few months after becoming roommates, Sean started dating Mike’s ex-girlfriend, which was awkward to say the least, and by about halfway through the year, Sean barely ever spent the night in the apartment anymore. So we barely lived with him anyway. But Sean was an alright guy to live with. Also, he’s now married to Mike’s ex, which still blows my mind. Mike and I became pretty good friends, though. I was the lead actor in his senior year film project, and we started playing in a band together. Mike, June 2002 - January 2004 Loch Raven Village Apartments/Lake Crest Apartments At the end of our year in Loch Raven, Mike and I were both ready to move onto greener pastures, and since Mike decided he was gonna stay in the area for another year or so after graduating, we decided to find a new place together. We remained pretty good friends although I think there was a point where we started to wear on each other and realized we could only handle so much of each other’s company. There were definitely times when Mike just got too obnoxious for me to handle, and I’m sure vice versa. But he’s a cool guy to live with all in all. About 6 months into our year lease, Mike got hired for a really good job down in D.C., and started staying down at his Mom’s place in Laurel for a shorter commute. By the new year, he’d made the decision that he was moving out and started looking for a new roommate to take his place in the apartment. It was kind of weird for him to be selecting someone for me to live with, but it was his responsibility after all, and I’m glad he took care of the legwork on that and found somebody. For now, I’m still playing in a band with Mike and I still see him around a bit on weekends since we still have a lot of the same friends. It’s weird, though, I feel like there’s already been a shift in our friendship, from the ultra-familiarity of seeing each other on a daily basis to just here and there. I hope we remain friends but on the other hand I feel like we’ve gotten enough of a healthy dose of each other to last us both a long long time. Jace, Febuary 2004 - present Lake Crest Apartments Jace was the first person to answer Mike’s ad for the apartment, and ended up getting the room. He’s been here for about a month now. We haven’t really interacted much at all yet beyond mild obligatory pleasantries whenever we end up in the same room or hallway for a few seconds. Which I guess is my fault, that I haven’t really made an effort to make nice. But things are at least civil, and aside from him cleaning up after my messes a little, I think our living habits are pretty compatible so far. And really, after a couple experiences of getting a little too close for comfort, I think a civilly distant roommate might be a good change of pace for me. -al
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